When people hear that my husband and I have spent years living frugally, they sometimes assume it was because we had to. We definitely had to in the beginning, and while there were certainly seasons when money was tight, our journey toward frugal living actually began long before we were married.

It started while we were dating. We even bought a semi-detached home together before we were even engaged. I know, some family members thought we were crazy. Both of us had already been saving money, and we bought it together as an investment. We rented the house for a few years. It didn’t quite work out the way we had hoped. People renting the house damaged it, and the housing market started to crash, so we did end up losing money, but it was a lesson for us to go forward carefully with our money.

As we dated and became engaged, we talked about the kind of life we hoped to build together. We dreamed of owning our own home someday. We wanted reliable transportation that wouldn't leave us stranded. Most importantly, we hoped to raise a family, and we knew that would require thoughtful financial decisions.

Those conversations shaped the habits we still practice today.

We Wanted a Home More Than We Wanted Stuff

When you're first starting out, it's easy to believe happiness comes from buying the latest furniture, decorating every room perfectly, or upgrading everything as soon as you can afford it. I’m not going to lie, I would love for my house to look like it came out of a magazine. Instead, we focused on a bigger goal.

Every dollar we didn't spend on unnecessary purchases became another step toward owning a home. That didn't mean we never enjoyed ourselves. It simply meant we learned to distinguish between temporary wants and long-term dreams.

A Reliable Car Was Freedom

Anyone who has experienced an unreliable vehicle knows how stressful it can be. Unexpected breakdowns affect work, appointments, family commitments, and your peace of mind.

Saving money wasn't just about having extra cash in the bank. It gave us the ability to repair or replace a vehicle when necessary without falling into panic mode. Financial preparation brought a sense of security that was worth far more than many of the things we could have purchased instead.

Once we had moved our family closer to extended family, my husband’s work was further away. A reliable car was a necessity, but we owned only one. Owning two cars meant more insurance, more maintenance, and more gas purchases. So, when my husband was home (he worked evenings for a long time), I used the car to run errands. Then, in the evening, he drove to work. Fortunately, his work schedule made it easier for us to own only one car.

Then Our Family Grew

Eventually, our family of two became a family of six.

From a House of Two to a House of Six

Once we had kids, every financial decision mattered.
*(Photo from 2016 - Many years ago, but I love this photo of all of us.)*

With four children in the house, every financial decision mattered. Grocery bills grew. Clothing costs increased. Sports, school activities, birthdays, and Christmas all became part of the family budget.

Those early habits we developed while dating became the foundation that carried us through the busy years of raising our children.

I'm thankful we didn't wait until life became expensive to learn how to manage our money.

The other thing I always hear from young people is that they have to wait until their finances are at a “certain level” before they have kids. I’ve always believed that you cannot put a price on having children. Yes, you do have to be careful with your finances. Being frugal is part of that, but stopping yourself from having children because of “this expense” or “that bill” could mean you never have kids, or you’ve waited too long to have them. There is always something to pay for.

Frugality Was Never About Deprivation

Sometimes people hear the word frugal and picture someone who never spends money or enjoys life. That wasn't our experience. Frugal living gave us permission to spend confidently on the things that truly mattered because we weren't wasting money on the things that didn't.

We still celebrated birthdays, took family outings, and created traditions our children remember today. We simply looked for ways to enjoy those moments without spending more than we could comfortably afford.

What Frugal Living Really Bought Us

Looking back after all these years, I realize that saving money wasn't really about money.

It bought us choices.
It bought us a home where our children grew up.
It bought dependable transportation.
It brought peace of mind when unexpected expenses arose.
It gave me the opportunity to stay home with our children during their younger years.
It allowed us to build a life that reflected our priorities instead of chasing someone else's definition of success.

The "Why" Matters More Than the "How"

There are thousands of articles online that will tell you how to save money.

Clip coupons.
Meal plan.
Shop secondhand.
Buy generic brands.

I even mention these ways of saving in my blog posts and in our Facebook group, House of Six. Those are all helpful strategies, but they only work in the long term if you have a reason behind them.

(Follow me for easy, simple money-saving tips on House of Six on Facebook.)

For us, the reason wasn't simply to spend less. It was to build a stable home, raise our children well, and create a life that aligned with our values.

Your reason may be different.

Maybe you're saving for your first home.
Maybe you're paying off debt.
Maybe you're hoping one parent can stay home with the kids.
Maybe you're building an emergency fund or planning for retirement.

Whatever your reason, keep it in front of you.

When your "why" is strong enough, saying no to impulse purchases becomes much easier because you're saying yes to something much bigger.

Final Thoughts

Frugal living

It makes room for the things that matter most.

These days, our children are adults, but the lessons we learned while dating continue to shape the way we live. Frugal living was never about having the least. It was about making room for the things that mattered most. For our family, that meant a home filled with love, a dependable car in the driveway, four wonderful children, and the peace that comes from knowing we planned ahead.

Looking back, I wouldn't change a thing!

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Why We Chose Frugal Living Long Before We Had Children